As a white woman I was not raised to be independent. I was told to marry someone who would take care of me. I always on the lookout for the potential doctor or lawyer to be my husband. According to my black female friends they were raised to support themselves and not look for anyone to support them. One black friend told me in particular that she was encouraged to go to college and make something of herself and her brother was not. He was told to just get by because his mother would see to it that he would be taken care of. As for myself, I had to prove that I could make it in college, while my brother was being encouraged to become a doctor. I was told to become Susie-homemaker.
She also told me that black mothers love their sons and raise their daughters. In some instances I would have liked to experience that, to see what it was like to have a mother who wanted me to become a somebody rather than somebody's somebody. I can see my mother in me when I raise my own daughter I tell her that being a good wife is reward enough. In some ways I envy my friends because they were able to spread their wings and test the waters as to what they wanted to become. They are also able to decide for themselves whether or not they want a husband and a career. I can see that happening with women of my own race and that encouraging to me but when you have those values instilled in you from birth, it's hard to fight them and go astray.
The racial group that I have decided to speak on, are white women. I have decided to take this perspective because I have never in my life thought how it would feel, or how I would be perceived in society as a white female. I never read anything, or looked at anything through the eyes of anyone else besides a minority group, because I have always felt that only a person from another minority group could understand, or have any of the same thoughts about any issue that I have. (so this should be very, very, interesting)
I believe that this chapter was bias towards me, and anyone from my race. It speaks only about the obstacles that we face within our own group. For example, how we are expected to marry a businessman, or a very successful man in order to be a part of the higher class in life.
My mother raised me since day one, to sit up straight, and act like a lady is suppose to act. To learn everything there is to know about taking care of your man. How to be that perfect wife, how to hold the best dinner parties, and how to make a man want me. To stay thin, as well as keeping Him fat and satisfied, in the bed and out. To except it when He works late, and I take care of the children, and not to worry too much if He has an affair because all men do it, and as long as He takes care of me and the children, it's okay.
I believe that the most difficult obstacles for feminism caused by differences among women is the fact that we all believe that one particular group has it better than we do belonging to the group that we belong to. If we realize that we are all part of the same struggle as women first, we can find a common ground in the areas that we think are so different (for example, race).Close this window when finished.