H O N O R S  S P E E C H

Patricia Bennett SN'98
PACT Team Psychiatric RN, Care-Plus New Jersey

I wish to extend my congratulations to each of the honors students here this morning. Take a moment to enjoy your accomplishment ---- academic excellence. What were the influences in each of your lives that provided the inspiration and motivation which has resulted in your presence here today? How wide and varied these sources are.

This morning I would like to share some of my own sources of inspiration that began a long time ago right here at CNR under the most "unauspicious" circumstances. As a seven-year-old I was tutored by my Aunt Sister Teresita, an Ursuline Nun stationed here at the College. The last thing this active seven-year-old wanted to do on a Saturday morning was to be all dressed up, reciting the short vowel sounds, over and over again. I was a little girl for whom reading was a painful experience. But over time I was able to overcome my difficulties. Even through those unpleasant Saturday mornings I knew that CNR and I would always be connected. I would look around the grounds and through the eyes of a seven-year-old see the wonder and beauty of this campus. Even then CNR provided inspiration in my life. In the early eighties, I enrolled in the School of New Resources where I was taught by the then Professor Sweeny.  At that time I was unable to continue my education. As the years went by I lost touch with CNR, although it was always a part of me.

In 1994, I returned to CNR as a freshman in the School of Nursing with the dream of becoming a Psychiatric RN. Those college years past quickly for me.  Yet, they were filled with experiences and people that changed my life and enabled me to build my confidence and my belief that I could accomplish my dream. So with college behind me, I began my career as a Psychiatric RN.  Since that time, I have had the privilege and the pain of working on an ACT Team. ACT stand for Assertive Community Treatment. These teams are mobile interdisciplinary, psychiatric treatment teams that deliver services to the patients, wherever the patient may be -- in the streets, shelters, jails, makeshift cardboard homes or on the island of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd.  ACT patients have failed out of most conventional treatment programs and are the most treatment resistant of the chronically mentally ill. ACT brings the treatment to the patient and is available 7 days/ 24 hours a day.

As professionals often experience when working with vulnerable populations, I've learned that these patients enriched my life, expanded my understanding and strengthened my spirit. Day after day I meet people who live with fear, suspicion, despair, hopelessness, misery and madness. I have learned to recognize and connect to a small portion of their pain. There is wonder in the experience of watching a glimmer of light begin to sparkle in previously empty eyes.  The whole process is addictive. I find myself searching to see what direction I can go in that could possibly bring a moment of peace to a life filled with torment.  This process forces one to find great joy in progress that can only be measured with a microscope, and   yet is so fulfilling that I can not imagine working in any other environment.

That smells can sometimes sicken and the sores and grit and grim repel goes without saying, but underneath the smells and the dirt, I have been fortunate enough to develop relationships with some truly exceptional members of the human race. They are often shy, funny, warm, gracious and caring, when then begin to feel safe and understood.

I have been given the unique opportunity to party with Mabel at the ACT Christmas party, when staff presented her with a pair of new winter boots. Her joy seemed to know no bounds when she realized that she was the recipient of such extraordinary good fortune. I can hear her words, "Look  Look ! I got new boots- new boots," as she held them up proudly for everyone to see. Most of us can search back through our memories and identify the moments in which we learned the meaning of Christmas. I never understood the meaning of Christmas until that December afternoon.-

I first saw Mabel when I was riding on a bus and I glanced towardsthe island on Adam Clayton Powell Blvd. in Harlem on my way to work early one morning. Mabel was asleep on a mattress with blankets pulled up over her head, as the traffic whizzed by.  Sometime thereafter, my team outreached to her and I visited Mabel's unconventional home. The small table and chair allowed her to treat us with hospitality. When I first noticed the flower in the plastic vase on the table in front of the mattress, I was awed by her resourcefulness and resolve. It was clear that I was a guest in Mabel's home. There were many visits to Mabel's home over the next year and a half. Progress was slow, and there were often as many steps backward as forward.  Over time, she accomplished many things.

While initially resistant to treatment and traditional housing, eventually Mabel moved from her island in the middle of Adam Clayton Powell Blvd. to supportive housing.  She reduced her drug and alcohol use, which reduced the intensity of her psychotic and delusional episodes.  She was quickly stabilized in many ways.  Mabel attended a day program where she received job training.  Eventually, she was hired as a cook in the day program, and her southern culinary skills were greatly appreciated.  This recognition erved Mabel well, and her confidence soared.  She accepted medical assistance and quickly became responsible for her medical care and her daily life activities.  Next, Mabel confided that she always wanted to learn how to read.  The day program assisted her in this endeavor.  The culminating experience in my work with Mabel was her trip down south to be reunited with her family from whom she had been estranged for 25 years.  She had come a long way from the island on Adam Clayton Powell Blvd.  It had  been quite a journey for Mabel and me.  I know that along the way we both learned a great deal. 

When I reflect back on Mabel and the other truly incredible people who have filled my heart I'm overwhelmed with the blessings in my life. My  sources of inspiration and motivations seem to know no bounds and this is what keeps me going from day to day.  As I look at you this morning, I wish  for you what I have found.  Seek the path with a heart so that your sources of inspiration and motivation will be there always. Congratulations and good luck.